House Bound

For the past little while -- I can’t even begin to guess how long, because there is no sense of time in maternity-leave land –- Nikolas has settled into a 2-nap-a-day routine. His first nap occurs about 2 hours after he gets up in the morning, and he sleeps for roughly 2 hours. Then he has an afternoon nap, and it can happen anytime from right after lunch at 1:00, or as late as 3:00 or 4:00. This nap is shorter, usually an hour or so.

I think back to when he was only 4 or 5 months old, and I was struggling so hard to get him to nap at all. It was so difficult, I’m pretty sure it’s what drove me into my downward spiral to the rock bottom of my depression. So don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled that he sleeps during the day. However, it keeps me house bound.

Mornings are strictly for at home. Get up, give him a bottle, let him play for awhile, then breakfast, and nap. Then depending on how long his nap is, he’ll usually play some more until lunch time. Earlier this week I thought I’d try to go for a run right after breakfast, and he could sleep in his stoller. So I got him strapped in, got myself and the dog ready to hit the trails, and Nikolas didn’t fall asleep until we were on our way home, and it only lasted about 20 minutes. (Lesson learned: I suffered for the rest of the day right up until his bed time).

So, if I’m lucky, I can plan to leave the house immediately after lunch, unless he’s showing he’s ready for another nap.....ughhhhhh!

I can no longer plan anything with anybody, especially if they also have a baby, who also needs to nap! If I have errands to run, or groceries to pick up, I can plan to do only one thing per outing. And the whole time I’m watching Nikolas very carefully for signs that it’s time to get home RIGHT NOW because I don’t want him to fall asleep on the way home...because then he won’t sleep when we get home! Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I’d love to start taking classes at the gym, or attend baby aqua-size, but nothing is scheduled for right after lunch.

We’re nearing the end of summer – gasp – and I feel like I haven’t had many chances to really enjoy it. Every outing is about getting something accomplished...run errands, take the dog out, etc. It’s never just about having fun. And the fun we have is alone, because it’s been so difficult to make plans with anybody else. I’ve been feeling really isolated and lonely, and Matt is still working crazy hours at the golf course, so he usually comes home in time for Nikolas to go to bed, or he's already there.

It’s getting to the point now where I am actually looking forward to going back to work a few days a week, just so I can get out of the house.

Do any SAHM’s have any advice for me? How do I handle this??