The Kid Does Not Know What He’s in For!

For those of you who personally know me, you know that I’m a pretty laid back mom. I don’t freak out over every little bruise and scrape. I let Nikolas experiment with all sorts of different stuff as long as it’s generally safe. And I even let him summersault once or twice down the stairs before catching him.

Okay, who am I kidding? I’ve never moved so fast in my life as when I saw him falling down the stairs this morning. I grabbed his arm (or maybe it was a leg) mid-summersault as he was falling end over end like a rag doll. But, he was not hurt. We were both a little shaken up, and continued on with our day. Drama-free, just as I like it.

And most of all, I harass my kid as much as I can. Why? Because I’m the mom, of course! After all a parent goes through, if you don’t come out the other side with a wicked sense of humour, sweetie, you are fucked.

Recently, I’ve made a point of not putting shoes on Nikolas if we are going out and I am not anticipating him crawling anywhere and dragging the tops of his feet along some dirty floor or grass in the playground. If it’s nice enough, he goes barefoot, just like his mama.

Lately, it has been a little chilly here, so it’s just been socks for him. While I’m driving, I can see him in the rear view mirror yanking and tugging on his socks until at least one of them is off, and he’ll chew on his foot. It really is funny to watch this unfold.

So tonight, we all went grocery shopping – yes, Matt was actually home to join us – and on the way home, Nikolas was grunting and getting super frustrated because he could not get his socks off. Matt and I were both giggling in the front seat, amused by this. Matt had to pull over on the side of the road to grab a snack from the grocery bags. He was just that hungry that he couldn’t wait another 10 minutes to get home. So, while he was rooting around in the back, I hopped out and went to help Nikolas get his socks off. What a look of relief that came over his face! But then, (THEN!!) I took the socks and put each one on each of his hands, shut his door and hopped back into the front seat.

We got to spend the next few minutes laughing hysterically while our poor boy struggled and fought to get those socks off his hands! And when it comes to being frustrated, the boy is JUST LIKE HIS MAMA. He flailed his hands about, screaming and moaning like it was the end of the world.

Really, this boy is in for a world of being teased as he grows up. And I can’t wait.

Table for Two

Tonight, for the first time, Nikolas and I ate dinner together. I got to eat my food at the same time that he ate his! Everything I served him he was able to pick up and eat all by himself. It was so nice to sit down and enjoy a meal with my boy. Not before, not after, but at the same time. He had chicken breasts, steamed carrots infused with dill and tortellini (no sauce). He obviously liked the chicken and tortellini a lot more than the carrots, as he always ate those first and would ignore the carrots.

I also found out tonight just how much that boy is capable of eating! I set aside quite a bit of food for him, thinking that I’d just eat whatever was left over. I would put a little on his table at a time, and he would keep eating and eating and so I'd just kept putting more and more on until he showed me he was no longer hungry. How did he do this? Well, I kinda figured it out when he’d grab a piece of food and just casually hang his hand over the side of his chair and drop it for the dog! But really, I was surprised at how much he ate. Maybe it’s time to start increasing portion sizes??

It’s so awesome to finally be able to cook a meal and sit down and enjoy it. When Nikolas was first born, there was no such thing. There was never any time for cooking when he was so little and so demanding of me. I remember being so frustrated when he was only about 3 weeks old. I was trying to cook hash browns - nothing too complicated - but he would scream as soon as I tried to put him in his swing. I got so angry because I was so hungry and just wanted some food that was cooked and not warmed up in the microwave. Then a few months later, I’d finally be able to escape to the kitchen and cook, but then Matt and I would eat in shifts while also keeping Nikolas entertained.

As Nikolas is eating more and more “grown up” food, I am doing my best to ensure that he eats only healthy nutrient-dense food and really limit the amount of processed food he eats. He does occasionally get the odd treat of a few spoons of ice cream, or a bite from a cupcake, but for the most part, he eats pretty damn healthy. I am going to start eating the same way, and try to stop eating all the convenient crap that ends up in my house. I want to make an effort to cook more healthy meals for the whole family so that Nikolas has a good role model to follow and has healthy eating habits as he grows up.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 15

Half way there! Slowly but surely wins the race...

So today was a really good day, and here are the things I am grateful for:

1. That Nikolas sleeps for 11-12 hours at night. I have a friend who has a son just a couple weeks younger who is still up several times a night. I really feel for her. I'd be such a raging bitch if I hadn't had one full night of sleep in over 10 months.

2) Long morning naps. For Nikolas, of course. During his nap this morning, I got my kitchen floor washed, plucked my eyebrows AND curled my hair.

3) Choosing to go to Superstore over Der Mart (I mean Wal Mart) to stock up on baby food. It actually wasn't that bad for a Saturday afternoon and no strangers earned the stink eye from moi.

4) I'm adding a fourth just for shits & giggles. I totally forgot to express my gratitude a few weeks ago when we officially finished the last can of formula and made the switch over to homo milk! That shit is expensive!!!


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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 14

Today, I am grateful for:

1. My monthly massage.
2. Cute rubber boots
3. My boy who wants to copy mama while she is dusting. Makes me wonder what chore to show him next!


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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 13

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Movie night with the girls
2. Eat Pray Love
3. Hand puppets!


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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 12

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Visits with a friend who has a baby very similar in age to Nikolas.
2. Being out of the house for most of the day.
3. Nikolas didn't torture me despite an interrupted afternoon nap.

House Bound

For the past little while -- I can’t even begin to guess how long, because there is no sense of time in maternity-leave land –- Nikolas has settled into a 2-nap-a-day routine. His first nap occurs about 2 hours after he gets up in the morning, and he sleeps for roughly 2 hours. Then he has an afternoon nap, and it can happen anytime from right after lunch at 1:00, or as late as 3:00 or 4:00. This nap is shorter, usually an hour or so.

I think back to when he was only 4 or 5 months old, and I was struggling so hard to get him to nap at all. It was so difficult, I’m pretty sure it’s what drove me into my downward spiral to the rock bottom of my depression. So don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled that he sleeps during the day. However, it keeps me house bound.

Mornings are strictly for at home. Get up, give him a bottle, let him play for awhile, then breakfast, and nap. Then depending on how long his nap is, he’ll usually play some more until lunch time. Earlier this week I thought I’d try to go for a run right after breakfast, and he could sleep in his stoller. So I got him strapped in, got myself and the dog ready to hit the trails, and Nikolas didn’t fall asleep until we were on our way home, and it only lasted about 20 minutes. (Lesson learned: I suffered for the rest of the day right up until his bed time).

So, if I’m lucky, I can plan to leave the house immediately after lunch, unless he’s showing he’s ready for another nap.....ughhhhhh!

I can no longer plan anything with anybody, especially if they also have a baby, who also needs to nap! If I have errands to run, or groceries to pick up, I can plan to do only one thing per outing. And the whole time I’m watching Nikolas very carefully for signs that it’s time to get home RIGHT NOW because I don’t want him to fall asleep on the way home...because then he won’t sleep when we get home! Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I’d love to start taking classes at the gym, or attend baby aqua-size, but nothing is scheduled for right after lunch.

We’re nearing the end of summer – gasp – and I feel like I haven’t had many chances to really enjoy it. Every outing is about getting something accomplished...run errands, take the dog out, etc. It’s never just about having fun. And the fun we have is alone, because it’s been so difficult to make plans with anybody else. I’ve been feeling really isolated and lonely, and Matt is still working crazy hours at the golf course, so he usually comes home in time for Nikolas to go to bed, or he's already there.

It’s getting to the point now where I am actually looking forward to going back to work a few days a week, just so I can get out of the house.

Do any SAHM’s have any advice for me? How do I handle this??

My First Wordless Wednesday: Trouble!

I Love it When...

You imitate sounds like water draining from the bathtub. Gllllaagggllhhhhh.


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A Boy’s Best Friend

Today I realized that in time that I’ve been writing, I don’t think I’ve mentioned one important part of our little family: Keko.

Keko has been such a trooper since Nikolas came along, going through weeks of attention-neglect, days where I’ve forgotten to feed him and through it all, he is the best dog a person could ask for.

For those of you who don’t know Keko’s story, we got him from S.C.A.R.S (Second Chance Animal Rescue Society) in March of 2009. He was found wandering on the side of the road on an Indian reservation up in Northern Alberta, and was picked up by a volunteer. He had bad scarring across his shoulders which indicated that he was once a sled dog. To this day, he still has the scars, but the fur around them had grown back and they are barely noticeable anymore.

I was just a couple months pregnant, and we had been waiting so long to buy a house so that we could get a dog. I had just recently given up my cat that I’d had for about 15 years, and the house was feeling empty without a pet. We knew it was time for our dog.

The weekend that I brought Keko home, Matt was in BC on a snowboarding trip, and hadn’t even met the dog. I went to the foster home where Keko had been living with a family for about 5 months to meet him, and I swear he did everything in his power to make me not like him. When I walked up to the house he was living at, I was greeted by a menacing barking dog with scary eyes chained up in the front yard. I took him for a walk by myself, and he was such a jerk. He kept jumping up on me, trying to rip the leash out of my hand and he pulled like crazy...which made sense, since his job used to be to pull. Once back at the house, I saw how he interacted with the family, and figured that despite his rough edges, I’d give him a chance.

A year and a half later, he’s still with us, and what improvements he’s made since coming home! We had to break alot of bad habits and even took him to obedience lessons. I really wanted to have him settled in with us before Nikolas came along so that he knew what part he played in our family. He was my sidekick for all of last summer and we spent many hot summer days at the dog park. He’d run like the wind and I’d waddle like a penguin.

I was of course nervous about how he’d act around little kids, but there were several incidents at the park where I’d see him get between other dogs and the kids to protect them. He’d even taken down a great dane that was barrelling straight towards a 2 yr old. What a proud mama I was that day!

I must say now how happy I am that Keko is Nikolas’ protector, and more recently, best bud. Who wouldn’t want to be best friends with someone who drops treats from the high chair?

He has shown such patience with being neglected by us for attention (and occasionally food) and doesn’t really react when Nikolas slaps him, rips out fist-fulls of fur, or constantly tries to grab his weiner. He is so gentle and is even starting to roll onto his back when Nikolas is showering him with attention.

The down side of Keko being such a great protector? I will never be able to beat my kids. The other night, I was goofing around, and lightly snapping a tea-towel at Nikolas. Keko was so not impressed and made it known. The growling and snapping at me really surprised me. Guess I’ll have to find some other kinds of discipline for the future....

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 11

Today I am grateful for:
1. Spending a leisurely morning alone.
2. Brunch with family.
3. Bike rides! (my first time riding today since before I was pregnant)


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30 Days of Gratitude: Day 10

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Grandparents to who call us over for their "Nikolas fix".
2. Afternoon naps.
3. Spending the evening wandering Whyte Ave with my two favorite guys.

I Owe, I Owe, It’s Back to Work I Go...

  
Oh. My. God.

Only 6 weeks of maternity leave left. Where has the time gone? It seems like the kids were just let out of school for summer holidays yesterday. I had a whole summer ahead of me to enjoy. Now, the stores are filled with Back-to-School supplies and some days I feel like fall is in the air. And now I’m dreading going back to work, and really enjoying all the spare time I have right now.

Just yesterday, I was home all day with Nikolas and after his afternoon nap, I found myself feeling BORED. I just didn’t know what to do to entertain him anymore. We had gone for our daily walk with the dog, I didn’t have to go into the city to do any shopping, we didn’t have any play dates. I was looking for any excuse to leave the house. But I had no where to go! Sure, I had lots of stuff to do, but alot of it had to be done when he was sleeping, and a person can only clean their house so much. I know that in a few months I’ll be looking back on my maternity leave and think to myself how nice it was to have so much free time!

Thankfully, I’m only going back to work part time. I’ve told my current employer (who hired me when I was already pregnant, so I only worked for them for 6 months) that I’m not interested in continuing on in my career in I.T, and that I’d just like to do some administrative type of work. Nothing to heavy. Just something I can do 3 days a week so I can help out with mortgage payments. And I really really do not want to work 5 days a week, never get to spend quality time with my son and be crazy busy every day running around doing errands and endless work around the house. I am willing to sacrifice the awesome salary I used to bring home so I can be here for Nikolas. This is where I belong. Also, I have a couple ventures on the side I'm working on.

Unfortunately, my current employer was unable to come up with any kind of work for me, so once my maternity leave is over, my employment with them is terminated. They were really good about it, and keeping me employed until September is awesome, so that I can still have my health benefits. Someone has to pay for my monthly massage; I sure as hell can’t afford it!

So, I’ve approached a former employer. A company that terminated my position while I was on my honeymoon. They were negatively affected by the downturn in the economy, and since my role was not a necessity to the company, it was slashed. I don’t blame them at all for it. They are probably the best company I have worked for, and I’ve always stayed in touch with them. The ladies there even threw a baby shower for Nikolas....more than a year after I had left! If that isn’t awesome, I don’t know what is. So they’ve known for a few months that they were my “Plan B” and I’ve recently been in touch to let them know that I now need them to help me out with a job. There just happens to be a job available that fits my needs and is extremely flexible, so now I’m just waiting to find out if it’s a go. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I even have a day home lined up already, which is a huge relief, being that finding quality childcare here in Beaumont is a challenge. Now, I’m worrying about how I will get Nikolas onto a schedule where both he and I have to be ready and out the door for 7:15 am when we don’t usually don’t get out of bed until 8:30-ish. It’s going to be a struggle for sure. It will be easy once golf season is over and Matt will be home in the mornings. But the first few weeks are going to be a struggle for sure.

In the mean time, I'm going to try to do as much fun stuff as possible and enjoy the rest of the summer with my little man!

Hope Suckers

Wow, I was on a great role in June with posting and in July it came to a crashing halt. It's amazing how much positive feedback I get from writing this blog, and then WHAM! One bad remark can halt me in my tracks and even make me think that I shouldn't be doing this at all.

I have comments open here so that readers of this blog can connect with me and share their experiences in parenthood. Each time I publish a post, I add a link to my Facebook page, which I have decided to stop doing. I figure If people really want to follow my blog, they will. And if they want to leave nasty comments, they can do so here without berating me publicly in front of all my friends on Facebook.

It's sad though, that this one person had to go and spoil this experience for me. This one person who is supposed to be one of my top supporters and has now turned their back on me and refuses to talk to me because I opened up and shared my true feelings about how I'd like to be treated.

One very good lesson I've recently learned is that you cannot control how people treat you, but you can control how you react to them. My feeling go between being hurt and being really pissed off. You just don't treat people that you love that way. If they ask for love, show it. Don't with hold it as punishment for being honest.



Anyway, onto more positive things. My baby is almost 10 months old! Where in the hell has the time gone? Since the end of June, it's just been a whirlwhind around here as he gains more independance and wants to DISCOVER EVERYTHING! Nothing in the house below hip-height is safe. I've told Matt that I anticipate Nikolas to be walking by the end of August. He's crawling like a mad-man and holding onto furntiture & walls while walking. Yesterday, he let go of the couch for the first time, and realized he was standing by himself. He got so excited that he started flailing his arms around and giggling and then.......he promptly fell on his bum.



I recently read something about a baby's determination that is so true. While babies develop, they have to repeat an action over and over (and over and over) again to perfect it. Walking, for example. A baby will fall hundreds of times before he or she takes those first amazing steps. They don't give up after a couple times because they do not immediately master a new skill. They just get back up and try again! Wouldn't it be great if we could all follow that example and just keep on trying even if we fail at first? We don't have to be perfect at something the first time we try it. Maybe that's why some people go on to have more than one child!

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 9

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Family walks after dinner


2. Days at home with no where to go

3. Baby laughter