Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Giggles
A couple weeks ago, I discovered what will make Nikolas laugh: dog fights. I bundled him up in the snugli, and we took Keko to the dog park. Keko likes to play alpha dog, so he's usually pretty agressive towards the other dogs. Keko started rough housing with another dog, growling and barking, and from out of nowhere, Nikolas starting giggling! He found this so amusing! When Matt got home from work later that evening, and found out he missed out on Nikolas' first impromptu giggles. So, he started to play tug of war with the dog to make him growl. Here's the video:
Friday, April 16, 2010
His Name is Cute
My baby is cute. I know it. I'm not going to deny it. He is unbelievably adorable. But now, Nikolas hears the word "cute" so much, I'm pretty sure that he is starting to think that is his name.
Earlier this week, we were at the grocery store, and while I was paying, Nikolas was chilling out in his stroller, happily playing with a toy, or sucking his thumb, or something, just minding his own business (happily, he wasn't crying).
The cashier lady noticed him, and like usual, the gushing began.."oh, look at the baby! He's soooo CUTE!"
At this, Nikolas immediately stopped what he was doing, sat straight up in his car seat, and turned towards the cashier with a huge grin on his face. If I could read his mind, he was saying "Did you say Cute? I'm cute! Right over here! Look at this smile! I AM Cute!"
Earlier this week, we were at the grocery store, and while I was paying, Nikolas was chilling out in his stroller, happily playing with a toy, or sucking his thumb, or something, just minding his own business (happily, he wasn't crying).
The cashier lady noticed him, and like usual, the gushing began.."oh, look at the baby! He's soooo CUTE!"
At this, Nikolas immediately stopped what he was doing, sat straight up in his car seat, and turned towards the cashier with a huge grin on his face. If I could read his mind, he was saying "Did you say Cute? I'm cute! Right over here! Look at this smile! I AM Cute!"
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Dealing With Illness
I knew it was just a matter of time until it happened: Nikolas’ first sickness. Technically, it’s not his first. He did have a bout of reflux when he was a month old that we had to deal with for a couple months. But compared to this past week, that was a cake walk.
For the past week or so, Nikolas has had a runny and stuffy nose, so I knew he was fighting something that’s going around. It was nothing major, and he didn’t really seem affected by it. He was a bit more tired, but that’s about it. Up until Wednesday, it seemed that it was clearing up and there was nothing to worry about. Then early Thursday morning, Nikolas woke up crying for his usual night feeding and his voice was different. It was like he had no voice at all; just little squeaks were coming out.
Later that morning, I called the paediatrician’s office to see if I should bring him in. The receptionist said that the doctor wouldn’t prescribe anything for a cold, so unless he had a fever or his breathing rate increased, to just keep him at home. A spring storm was blowing in that day, and it seemed like good advice. So, we just stayed home and took it easy, spending lots of time snuggling.
That night turned out to be a rough one. Nikolas seemed extra stuffed up and developed a fever. I was concerned about him and brought him into to bed to sleep with me so I could keep a close watch on him.
Friday wasn’t much different than Thursday, except Nikolas developed a barking cough. It was still storming outside and after hearing the roads were extremely icy, I did not want to risk driving into the city. Matt came home from work and seemed concerned, and so I called a pharmacist to see if there were any medications that were safe to give Nikolas for his cough. In the meantime, Matt’s parents came over for a visit, and immediately said something was wrong. By now, he was wheezing pretty bad, his voice was completely gone and the cough was getting worse. The only clinic in town was closed for the day, so my mother-in-law and I bundled up Nikolas and drove to the hospital in Leduc. We figured we’d go there instead of into the city, as there would be a shorter wait in emergency.
Once we got there, he was assessed right away, and there was maybe 10 minutes of waiting before he was called in, and we went in before any of the other people who were already waiting. I knew then it was serious. We were brought into the triage room where Nikolas was examined by the doctor, who explained that he had croup. Before yesterday, I had never even heard of it. He was given a dose of steroids and oxygen through a ventilator mask and the nurses explained it would help to open up his airways. After about 20 minutes of treatment, there was no improvement in his breathing. It was still a struggle for my baby to inhale, and his chest would cave in with the effort it took. We were moved to a ‘trauma’ room, where the nurses and doctor could keep a closer eye on him. As I sat on the stretcher holding my boy and the oxygen mask over his face, the nurse was behind me setting up an IV machine and a defibrillator. She must have seen the look of fear on my face and explained that it was very unlikely that it would be necessary, but all the equipment needed to be on hand in case his respiratory system failed.
The doctor then came in and explained that since Nikolas’ breathing had not improved significantly, that he’d have to be transported to the Stollery Children’s Hospital in the city and that an ambulance was on the way. That is when panic really struck me, but I knew I had to keep it together for my baby. I needed to stay strong and keep telling myself that it would be okay.
The EMT’s arrived, and the nurses were trying to get an IV into Nikolas. They couldn’t seem to find a vein and tried 4 different times to get a needle in him. It was ridiculous. One EMT just finally said “forget it, we have to go”. They had me sit on the stretcher, buckled me in, then put Nikolas on me so I could provide some comfort to him for the ride. Being that it was already past his bed time, I knew he’d fall asleep. We were loaded into the back of the ambulance, and just as the doors were about to close, Matt appeared, looking very worried. I told him right away that Nikolas was okay, he was relaxed, and to meet us at the Stollery (and to drive the speed limit). He came in the ambulance, gave Nikolas a kiss and then we were on our way. As I suspected, Nikolas fell asleep right away and was snoring for most of the ride. I still had to hold an oxygen mask over his face and his oxygen levels were being monitored the whole time. The EMT’s were great and reassured me that croup is extremely common in young kids and that it’s easily treated. It was something they saw a lot of. I wish the nurses had thought to tell me that.
We arrived at the hospital and went through all the same assessments, questions and examinations as we already went through at the first hospital. Except there were more staff on hand as well as pediatric doctors. Nikolas was a little charmer and was blowing raspberries and flirting with the nurses. (Oh, the girls are going to be in trouble when he gets older.) We basically went through the same course of treatment as before. I was to hold a mask near his face so he could breathe in the oxygen and steroids. After about 20 minutes of treatment, I was finally allowed to give Nikolas a bottle and let him snuggle in for some sleep. This really where the drama ended.
From then, we were put in a private area, Matthew arrived, and it was 4 hours of Nikolas being hooked up to monitors where his heart rate, respiratory rate and oxygen levels were monitored. I got to lay in the bed with him and make him comfortable so he could sleep. We were finally able to go home at 1:30 am, after it was determined that the 2nd round of medication/oxygen had worked, and Nikolas was breathing much easier.
There are no other medications that we can give our boy, and we’ve been told that this is very common. In fact, all the other kids that were in the same ward as us were there because of croup or asthma. We’d been warned that it would likely be worse for him at night, and to bring him outside in the cold air for a few minutes to help reduce the inflammation in his respiratory tract. Worse case scenario would be that we’d have to go back to Leduc hospital for more treatment, but it will likely clear up on it’s own.
The next week will be important to get his health back up to par, as we are to be flying to Cuba next weekend. I’m going to have to cancel any events or appointments where there will be other kids, as I don’t want to risk any one else’s baby getting sick. I was to start attending a support group for mom’s with PPD, as well as Rhyme Time at the library, but those are going to have to wait. It also means no strollercize. Nikolas was also to get his 6 month shots next week. Also, not happening. His immune system is already compromised.
We've discovered that being a parent really makes you feel the most extreme of emotions: love, guilt, pride, fear. But no matter what is going on in our crazy lives, as scared as any situation may make us, we have to be strong for our babies.
For the past week or so, Nikolas has had a runny and stuffy nose, so I knew he was fighting something that’s going around. It was nothing major, and he didn’t really seem affected by it. He was a bit more tired, but that’s about it. Up until Wednesday, it seemed that it was clearing up and there was nothing to worry about. Then early Thursday morning, Nikolas woke up crying for his usual night feeding and his voice was different. It was like he had no voice at all; just little squeaks were coming out.
Later that morning, I called the paediatrician’s office to see if I should bring him in. The receptionist said that the doctor wouldn’t prescribe anything for a cold, so unless he had a fever or his breathing rate increased, to just keep him at home. A spring storm was blowing in that day, and it seemed like good advice. So, we just stayed home and took it easy, spending lots of time snuggling.
That night turned out to be a rough one. Nikolas seemed extra stuffed up and developed a fever. I was concerned about him and brought him into to bed to sleep with me so I could keep a close watch on him.
Friday wasn’t much different than Thursday, except Nikolas developed a barking cough. It was still storming outside and after hearing the roads were extremely icy, I did not want to risk driving into the city. Matt came home from work and seemed concerned, and so I called a pharmacist to see if there were any medications that were safe to give Nikolas for his cough. In the meantime, Matt’s parents came over for a visit, and immediately said something was wrong. By now, he was wheezing pretty bad, his voice was completely gone and the cough was getting worse. The only clinic in town was closed for the day, so my mother-in-law and I bundled up Nikolas and drove to the hospital in Leduc. We figured we’d go there instead of into the city, as there would be a shorter wait in emergency.
Once we got there, he was assessed right away, and there was maybe 10 minutes of waiting before he was called in, and we went in before any of the other people who were already waiting. I knew then it was serious. We were brought into the triage room where Nikolas was examined by the doctor, who explained that he had croup. Before yesterday, I had never even heard of it. He was given a dose of steroids and oxygen through a ventilator mask and the nurses explained it would help to open up his airways. After about 20 minutes of treatment, there was no improvement in his breathing. It was still a struggle for my baby to inhale, and his chest would cave in with the effort it took. We were moved to a ‘trauma’ room, where the nurses and doctor could keep a closer eye on him. As I sat on the stretcher holding my boy and the oxygen mask over his face, the nurse was behind me setting up an IV machine and a defibrillator. She must have seen the look of fear on my face and explained that it was very unlikely that it would be necessary, but all the equipment needed to be on hand in case his respiratory system failed.
The doctor then came in and explained that since Nikolas’ breathing had not improved significantly, that he’d have to be transported to the Stollery Children’s Hospital in the city and that an ambulance was on the way. That is when panic really struck me, but I knew I had to keep it together for my baby. I needed to stay strong and keep telling myself that it would be okay.
The EMT’s arrived, and the nurses were trying to get an IV into Nikolas. They couldn’t seem to find a vein and tried 4 different times to get a needle in him. It was ridiculous. One EMT just finally said “forget it, we have to go”. They had me sit on the stretcher, buckled me in, then put Nikolas on me so I could provide some comfort to him for the ride. Being that it was already past his bed time, I knew he’d fall asleep. We were loaded into the back of the ambulance, and just as the doors were about to close, Matt appeared, looking very worried. I told him right away that Nikolas was okay, he was relaxed, and to meet us at the Stollery (and to drive the speed limit). He came in the ambulance, gave Nikolas a kiss and then we were on our way. As I suspected, Nikolas fell asleep right away and was snoring for most of the ride. I still had to hold an oxygen mask over his face and his oxygen levels were being monitored the whole time. The EMT’s were great and reassured me that croup is extremely common in young kids and that it’s easily treated. It was something they saw a lot of. I wish the nurses had thought to tell me that.
We arrived at the hospital and went through all the same assessments, questions and examinations as we already went through at the first hospital. Except there were more staff on hand as well as pediatric doctors. Nikolas was a little charmer and was blowing raspberries and flirting with the nurses. (Oh, the girls are going to be in trouble when he gets older.) We basically went through the same course of treatment as before. I was to hold a mask near his face so he could breathe in the oxygen and steroids. After about 20 minutes of treatment, I was finally allowed to give Nikolas a bottle and let him snuggle in for some sleep. This really where the drama ended.
From then, we were put in a private area, Matthew arrived, and it was 4 hours of Nikolas being hooked up to monitors where his heart rate, respiratory rate and oxygen levels were monitored. I got to lay in the bed with him and make him comfortable so he could sleep. We were finally able to go home at 1:30 am, after it was determined that the 2nd round of medication/oxygen had worked, and Nikolas was breathing much easier.
There are no other medications that we can give our boy, and we’ve been told that this is very common. In fact, all the other kids that were in the same ward as us were there because of croup or asthma. We’d been warned that it would likely be worse for him at night, and to bring him outside in the cold air for a few minutes to help reduce the inflammation in his respiratory tract. Worse case scenario would be that we’d have to go back to Leduc hospital for more treatment, but it will likely clear up on it’s own.
The next week will be important to get his health back up to par, as we are to be flying to Cuba next weekend. I’m going to have to cancel any events or appointments where there will be other kids, as I don’t want to risk any one else’s baby getting sick. I was to start attending a support group for mom’s with PPD, as well as Rhyme Time at the library, but those are going to have to wait. It also means no strollercize. Nikolas was also to get his 6 month shots next week. Also, not happening. His immune system is already compromised.
We've discovered that being a parent really makes you feel the most extreme of emotions: love, guilt, pride, fear. But no matter what is going on in our crazy lives, as scared as any situation may make us, we have to be strong for our babies.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tattoo
Then the next idea came to me: that I'd like his name translated into Thai, since he was conceived in Thailand, and our trip there really made me fall in love with that part of the world. We will be back there one day.
Matt's Dad has old business contacts here in Edmonton that he used to work with on projects in Thailand. So, we met with a nice Thai gentelman and his wife for brunch one Sunday, and asked him to translate Nikolas' name for us. That was the easy part.
Next came scouring the 'net for art ideas for the tattoo. The final design came from a combination of two different designs that I really liked. Incorporating the lotus flower really made sense for me. Not only is it beautiful, but there is so much symboism behind it. Lotus flowers root at the bottom of muddy, dirty ponds, but rise above the surface of the water to display an object of beauty. For me, it represents the hardships I've had to deal with throughout my life and my ability to rise above everything and emerge as the person I am today.
With my husband's help, we came up with the design (he likes to take all the credit). He was able to put on paper exactly what I had in mind. So, I took the plunge and took the design to a friend of my brother in law, who is a tattoo artist. 4 extremely painful hours later, I had this beautiful design permanently etched onto my back.
Every time I see my tattoo, I think of how much love I have for my son and how much I went through to be in a place where I felt ready to start a family.
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