Money Matters

I’m not due to go back to work until September, and already, I’m stressed out about what I’m going to do. I informed Matt well before we got pregnant that once we had children, I’d be “retiring” from my career in I.T. Having children was a way out for me. Yes, the money in I.T is great, but I HATE the jobs I’ve gotten in the field and really wish I had chosen a career that I was passionate about. I got into I.T because I happened to be good with computers and excelled at any related classes I took. Too bad I dreaded going to work every day and spent the majority of my time watching the clock.

So, during my pregnancy, every time a co-worker asked if I was coming back to work after maternity leave, I’d plaster a fake smile on my face and say “that’s the plan”, while in my head I was thinking “no way in hell”.
Now here I am almost 5 months into my maternity leave and I’m trying to make plans for what I’m going to do come September. The reason why I’m stressing out so early is for a few reasons:

1. There is a long wait list for child care in the town I live in. I’ve heard you can be on the list for over a year. I need to get on this list, but I need to be able to tell them if I require full or part time child care.
    
2. I need to inform my employer that I’m resigning from the position they’ve been holding for me (and keep telling me that they need me back badly) and request a part time position in a different department, doing something completely unrelated to I.T. The company I work for is great and many employees have been there 10+ years. That says alot about the owners and how they treat people. I’m really hoping that we can work something out so I can be able to work 3 days a week and still be making enough money to survive (i.e. make mortgage payments)
    
3. Going back to work and being away from my baby has to be worth it. If I’m going to work just to pay for child care, then it’s not worth it.

It’s been a tough adjustment living on about 40% of my income and adding a new body to our household. I really used to take for granted that we had disposable income and could go out at any time and treat ourselves to a new outfit, a weekend away, or even a hair cut without worrying about how much money we needed to get to the next paycheque. Now, I scour flyers for coupons and sales on diapers, formula, and even toilet paper. Tonight I just got my first hair cut in 6 months, and I didn’t even go to a salon; I found a lady in town who runs her own salon out of her basement. I’ve always told Matt that he was lucky I’m so frugal. I was pretty proud to tell him that I got a haircut for $25, including tip.

I buy a lot of Nikolas’s clothing and gear used through consignment stores and private sellers on Facebook. We really only bought stuff brand new where safety deemed it necessary: crib, stroller, car seat, etc. I drive less and try not to go into the city as often to save on gas, and to put off the next $100 oil change in my vehicle that we bought using a line of credit that we’re not making payments on right now. Instead of going to the gym, I’m making use of my elliptical machine, bike and hand weights that have sat unused in my basement. I buy gas at Superstore so I can use the “superbucks” I’ve earned at the affiliated grocery store to save money on groceries (baby formula). I have cut way back on my spending, but it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. We’re unable to make RRSP contributions or pay down debt. (Yes, I still have student loans from the college diploma I received to get a job that I hate)

Maybe I am too much of a worrier, but I think there is a good reason. I grew up poor. Raised by my divorced parents, I lived with both my mom and dad at separate times, and they struggled really hard just to get food on the table. I know they did the best they could, but I don’t ever want my children to have to know what it’s like to have to get handouts from the food bank, or to be pulled from sports or be unable to pursue a interest because we can’t afford it.

I’ve been trying to come up with different ideas for ways I can make money and be home with my children:

• I’ve signed up to sell Avon. This will take awhile to start making money at, as I have to build my customer base. Not sure how viable this is, but I’m loving the discounts I get.
• I’d like to be able to get crafty and sell items on www.etsy.com or at a local farmer’s market. I’m attending a workshop in May for learning how to do mosaics. It’s something I’ve wanted to get into for awhile now, but just never got around to it. 
• In a few years I may consider running a day home. At this point in my life, I couldn’t do it. I hate staying home all day and if we’re going to eventually have another baby, I need to be able to earn another mat leave.

So, really, I’m not ranting, or bitching, I guess I just need to get my thoughts sorted out “on paper” and figure out how I can be with my baby as much as possible as well as make a financial contribution to our family. I’ve always been hesitant to be financially reliant on someone else, and I don’t think it’s fair to leave the burden on Matthew (at least until he makes a huge salary or wins the lottery). I guess time will tell; I just need to talk to more moms and find out what they do and how they manage. It really is hard being a woman sometimes; we tend to take on the whole world and try to be everything to everybody.