A Year Later...

This week marked the one year anniversary of me ending maternity leave and being back at work. I have been working for as long as I was at home….working with a baby.

I am often asked if I like working, and I don’t lie: I do like it. I feel like being at work is time I can focus on my work without little hands grabbing at my pants saying “up”, or “mama! Toons!” (cartoons). I have made quite a lot of progress in the past year at my job, including an opportunity to go back to school part time to pursue an education in marketing. I may be crazy for taking this on. It will definitely be a challenge, but I think I’m up for it.

Every day, especially mornings and evenings are hectic; even more so in the summer time when my husband, who is a golf professional, is required to work long hours and we can go an entire week without having him at the dinner table. Some days I find myself thinking that I've mastered this whole working mom thing and then there are other days when I know that I’ll have to do the whole mundane routine over again tomorrow, and it has brought me to tears.

I’ve made a huge effort to get back to working out and eating ‘clean’, and have actually gotten myself down to my wedding weight. I have 2 windows of opportunity to exercise each work day; either at 5 am at home, or during my lunch hour at the gym. I have learned some great lessons in organization and preparedness as well as making my workouts as efficient as possible. I have two great resources to thank for this: the Nike Training Club app on my iPhone, and the girls of Tone It Up who offer nutritional advice and workouts.

Working out and being healthy benefits me and my family in so many ways. I find I have so much more engergy to get through the day. Mostly, it helps with my depression. If I go a few days where I’m eating like crap and not exercising, I really feel a difference in my attitude and outlook, and in the way I treat people, especially my family. I can have an explosive temper, and there have been a few times where I have regretted lashing out at, or in front of, Nikolas. I don’t want him to ever be scared of mommy getting mad. I have come a long way in controlling my temper, but still have to work on it. Working out definitely helps me have a positive state of mind and I’m better able to control my reaction to stressful situations.

I often wish I had more time to write, because I really love looking back at my stories and seeing how far I’ve come. One of the things that bother me is the name of my blog. “Is That Baby Puke On Your Shirt” isn’t really applicable to my life anymore, so I’ve been brainstorming some new names that would be a better fit to my crazy life. Anyway, I hope to increase the amount I write, and if you have any suggestions for names, pass them along!

One Year

Yesterday marked one year since I packed up my desk, said good-bye to my co-workers and left my career in I.T behind to start a new journey in parenthood. I have not had to go to work in an office in one year!

Being on maternity leave sure is not “time off”. I’ve worked longer, harder and with more dedication in the past year than I have in all my years in the job force put together. And the reward? While there is no financial gain in being on maternity leave – the Canadian government actually forces women on mat leave below the poverty line – the other rewards have been so amazing. We have the most beautiful, healthy, happy and most easy-going little boy on the planet. And he is happy. That boy is always smiling. If I leave the house, even just to take the garbage outside, when I return, my boy is so happy to see me, and it just melts my heart to see such a huge smile on his face.

Now, this week, I’m going to be leaving Nikolas at his day home for the first time. I don’t start work for a few weeks. Hell, it’s not even 100% confirmed that I have a job, but we’ve had to reserve a spot in a day home for Nikolas months in advance. And even though I’m not planning starting work until the end of September, we still have to pay for the whole month. So I figured, since we’re paying for the spot, we may as well start using it. Nikolas will get used to the idea of going to a different house 3 days a week, and the great thing is that there are 3 other boys similar in age that will be there on the same days.

I have such mixed feelings about this upcoming week. First of all, I can’t believe my year is over. It feels like just a few weeks ago, we were hanging out by the pool in Cuba, enjoying the hot sun, and thinking of going back to work wasn’t even on my radar. And now here we are.

Now I’m thinking of how life is just going to be so much busier with the hustle and bustle of coordinating 3 people’s schedules. I am only going back 3 days a week for now. It saddens me so much that on the days that I work, I will only get to see Nikolas for 2 hours in the evening before he goes to bed. I couldn’t imagine having to do that with a full time job!

On the other hand, I am looking forward to going back to work for a couple reasons. One of them being that I get to mix up my daily routine a bit, and I may even start to have some concept of time. Like what day of the week it is. The other one? The job I’m likely going to be doing is likely to be mundane. I’m okay with that. Because changing diapers all day is also mundane. I just need a different kind of mundane. Also, it’s going to make me appreciate the time I get to spend with Nikolas even more.

I Owe, I Owe, It’s Back to Work I Go...

  
Oh. My. God.

Only 6 weeks of maternity leave left. Where has the time gone? It seems like the kids were just let out of school for summer holidays yesterday. I had a whole summer ahead of me to enjoy. Now, the stores are filled with Back-to-School supplies and some days I feel like fall is in the air. And now I’m dreading going back to work, and really enjoying all the spare time I have right now.

Just yesterday, I was home all day with Nikolas and after his afternoon nap, I found myself feeling BORED. I just didn’t know what to do to entertain him anymore. We had gone for our daily walk with the dog, I didn’t have to go into the city to do any shopping, we didn’t have any play dates. I was looking for any excuse to leave the house. But I had no where to go! Sure, I had lots of stuff to do, but alot of it had to be done when he was sleeping, and a person can only clean their house so much. I know that in a few months I’ll be looking back on my maternity leave and think to myself how nice it was to have so much free time!

Thankfully, I’m only going back to work part time. I’ve told my current employer (who hired me when I was already pregnant, so I only worked for them for 6 months) that I’m not interested in continuing on in my career in I.T, and that I’d just like to do some administrative type of work. Nothing to heavy. Just something I can do 3 days a week so I can help out with mortgage payments. And I really really do not want to work 5 days a week, never get to spend quality time with my son and be crazy busy every day running around doing errands and endless work around the house. I am willing to sacrifice the awesome salary I used to bring home so I can be here for Nikolas. This is where I belong. Also, I have a couple ventures on the side I'm working on.

Unfortunately, my current employer was unable to come up with any kind of work for me, so once my maternity leave is over, my employment with them is terminated. They were really good about it, and keeping me employed until September is awesome, so that I can still have my health benefits. Someone has to pay for my monthly massage; I sure as hell can’t afford it!

So, I’ve approached a former employer. A company that terminated my position while I was on my honeymoon. They were negatively affected by the downturn in the economy, and since my role was not a necessity to the company, it was slashed. I don’t blame them at all for it. They are probably the best company I have worked for, and I’ve always stayed in touch with them. The ladies there even threw a baby shower for Nikolas....more than a year after I had left! If that isn’t awesome, I don’t know what is. So they’ve known for a few months that they were my “Plan B” and I’ve recently been in touch to let them know that I now need them to help me out with a job. There just happens to be a job available that fits my needs and is extremely flexible, so now I’m just waiting to find out if it’s a go. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I even have a day home lined up already, which is a huge relief, being that finding quality childcare here in Beaumont is a challenge. Now, I’m worrying about how I will get Nikolas onto a schedule where both he and I have to be ready and out the door for 7:15 am when we don’t usually don’t get out of bed until 8:30-ish. It’s going to be a struggle for sure. It will be easy once golf season is over and Matt will be home in the mornings. But the first few weeks are going to be a struggle for sure.

In the mean time, I'm going to try to do as much fun stuff as possible and enjoy the rest of the summer with my little man!